DeeDee Roe's Marriage Testimony

[DeeDee Roe, a friend that I’m acquainted with on Facebook, made this post on her anniversary back on June 6, 2016.  I was quite impressed with her straight forward honesty about her 14 years of marriage.  So much so, that I wanted to put this on my web site so that others could read this.  If you feel you’re in a tough marriage, according to DeeDee's experience, things can turn around if you work at it.  So here’s hope that her story might encourage and inspire other couples out there in their marriage.  Here’s what she wrote…]

“M (as DeeDee calls him) and I have been married 14 years today. :)

It's a BIG DEAL and I'm proud of us.

There were a LOT of days and years that we struggled. Struggled to get along, struggled to communicate, struggled to compromise, struggled to agree, struggled to honor and love one another.

We were a cord of three strands pulling away from each other, fraying.

There was a time I refused to say Happy Anniversary because I was hurting, angry, immature, and petty. I had a never ending list of ways he could improve himself. I struggled under the weight of my disappointments and hurt. I couldn't let it go - any of it. Every fight was like tossing another bone into a graveyard - we would rip the flesh off each other with our words and stand there overwhelmed by the destruction.

Are you shocked? Is this too real? You might want to skip this post and catch me on my next laundry rant.

We married at twenty one, both fairly new to our faith and having no example of a godly marriage. Knowing zero about being a husband or wife. We were still struggling with the transition to adulthood. We have either been through it all or walked with others who did.

Sigh. The stories I could tell.

The reason I share this is because I think of other couples who might be where we once were.

Can I encourage you today?

It CAN get better.

I am happily married.
My husband is my best friend.
My marriage gives me life, laughter, and security.
I want to spend as many years with M as God gives us life.

For some people, marriage is easy, natural, and light. We're happy for you and we want that for our children, but that's not our story.

If you grew up in dysfunction and you're determined to be the first ones to tear down generations of broken marriages and vows - I promise, it's possible.

A few quick and dirty tips I encourage you to remember:

1. Your spouse is not your enemy. "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8 NIV)

2. If you struggle to respect or love your spouse - instead focus on showing respect to God by keeping your vows and living according to His word.

3. Build each other up at every opportunity. Doesn't matter how small it is. "Thanks for working hard. Thanks for changing diapers. You did a good job on the lawn. I appreciate that you asked about my day. You were a good listener when I was talking about my friend." SAY IT ALL.

Your words can either bring life or death to your relationship.

4. You can't change other people. PRAY earnestly for your spouse and WORK on yourself. Ask God to reveal to you what you can do better.

5. Your marriage is worth the effort. Marriage can be unimaginably beautiful, but you must work at it.
Get counseling. Go to marriage classes. Read marriage books. Date your spouse.

6. Forgive. Forgive your spouse. Forgive yourself. Forgive again and again and then forgive some more.

This is longer and more serious than I intended. I'll tell you a funny story later if I have time.

Thank you to everyone who has had a part in encouraging and supporting us.

Pray for us to grow in love and unity...”

By DeeDee Roe